


Don't let the basterds get you down.

by Ineedadrinkorsleep



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/F, Family Feels, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19747804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedadrinkorsleep/pseuds/Ineedadrinkorsleep
Summary: Helen is kinda having a shitty day but thankfully her wife is always there for her.





	Don't let the basterds get you down.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kinda always starved for more Haline content so here we go.

Helen Blackthorn was not having a good day. Not by a long shot. In fact, she could probably count the amount of times she had been this angry on one hand. Helen had always been the level headed one, the calm one, the patient one. With six younger siblings she had to be. She was expected to be mature enough to essentially be a temperary parent to any one of her younger siblings from a very young age whenever her parents were out of commission.

But that wasn't why she was angry. That wasn't why she had fled to the training room to direct all her anger towards a punching bag instead of someone's face. With the sound of each satisfying smack of every punch and kick that she landed echoing off the walls, she would normally feel her sanity return. However this time it wasn't working. Helen could only feel her anger growing. It had been quite some time before she finally heard footsteps growing louder indicating they were heading towards the training room. The door flew open rather carelessly and a voice broke Helen out of her thoughts. A voice that usually brought her comfort and such joy. 

"Hey what's going on?"

Aline. 

However this time when Aline spoke, it only irratated her further. Helen gave the bag a final right hook and spun around to face her wife who was staring back at her expectantly. Helen crossed her arms, trying to calm her breathing. "Nothing's wrong" she replied trying to sound convincing but no doubt failing. Aline narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips slightly as if to say "I call bullshit". 

Helen took another breath and uncrossed her arms, trying to appear normal. "Its nothing babe I'm totally fine" she lied faking a smile. Although it came out as more of a grimace. Aline started blankly back at her and an uncomfortable silence came over them. Aline looked like she was waiting for Helen to break. 

Jokes on her. Helen Blackthorn was practically the queen of compartmentalizing. Bury your emotions and put on a brave face. For Mark, for Jules, for Ty, Dru and Tavvy. The names were more sacred to her then the name of the Angel. 

For Livvy.

Well not any more. 

Helen shook herself out of her dark stupor and stared back at Aline, ready to try again. But before she could open her mouth Aline beat her to it. 

"You're not ok". She stated firmly. "I can tell that something is bothering you. If you dont wanna tell me that's fine but you should at least tell someone." Aline reached forward hesitantly and took Helen's hand. It was only then Helen realized she was crying. Silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She shook her head and closed her eyes trying to regain her composure but Aline was having none of it. 

"Hey" she cooed softly stepping closer towards Helen. "Baby it's ok. Do you need a hug?" Aline asked gently. Helen nodded letting out a strangled sob. Aline wrapped her wife up in her arms tucking her chin into the crook of Helen's neck. "Its gonna be alright love" Aline whispered, attempting to reassure Helen. However instead of the words having a calming effect like Aline intended, they only reignited the burning rage beneath Helen's skin. 

"No actually its not" Helen protested raising her voice slightly and lifting her head off of Alines shoulder. "It's not because I don't think this is ever going to change. People will always make me feel like this and I'm sick of it!" Helen backed up away from Aline and began to pace as she ranted. "My whole life people have always treated me as inferior or as if there is something wrong with me, Mark too! We're just supposed to put on a brave face and turn the other cheek like good soldiers and we're never allowed to lash out or retaliate otherwise it's the evil temperamental faeries proving that they aren't worthy." Helen slowed her pacing and took a gulp of air. She snuck a glance at Aline realizing she should probably let her respond.

But Aline was dead silent. Staring back at Helen expectantly waiting for her to continue. When Helen had been silent for awhile Aline seemed to realize that she was pausing to give Aline room to speak. However Aline still didn't reply, only nodded as if to indicate "you have the floor".

Helen had never felt so liberated in her life.

So she continued, taking another deep breathe to prepare. " Today you know I had that video conference call with the San Francisco institute." Alec had been taking steps to modernize how shadowhunters operated by adding more technology to the mix. "I sat down and had my computer all cued up and ready to go. Then five minutes went by. Then ten, then thirty. Then I recieved an email from Alec apologizing for the inconvenience but apparently the institute head came to his office earlier today refusing to speak with me under any circumstances. Apparently she said and I quote "I refuse to work with a half breed or support its claim to any institute because they should be run by real shadowhunters". 

Aline's mouth dropped wide open. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" She exclaimed. Helen actually let out a slight chuckle, not that the situation was even remotely funny. "Oh believe me I wish I was. But the worst part is I wasn't even suprised". Helen admitted letting hers shoulders drop. "At this point I'm honestly just used to it and that is beyond depressing. But it's not even me I worry about, bad things can happen to me and that's fine. I can handle it." Helen paused and swallowed hard trying to stop her voice from shaking. 

She was unsuccessful.

"Most of all, my heart breaks for Mark because he had to go through all of the same horrific things I did and he was my baby brother! I was supposed to protect him!" Aline opened her mouth to object but this time Helen wasn't letting her interject. She shook her head firmly and closed her eyes as more tears slid down her cheeks. "When.." Helen began her voice breaking with a sob. As she looked back at Aline, to her horror Helen realized she had began to cry as well. Helen moved to comfort her but Aline shook her head collecting herself. " No, dont stop" she reassured her. "It feels like you need to get this out of your system." 

She had no idea how right she was.

Helen began again. "When Mark was six years old we had some visiters from Alicante. Tons of people, and there was this women with this big ruby necklace that probably cost a fortune. Dad and Elenor had told us to be nice to the guests so Mark went up to the women and told her that he thought her necklace was soooooo pretty." Aline let out a little chuckle at her imitation of younger Mark and Helen smiled. "You should have seen him talking to her, he was so cheerful and hopeful." Helen's expression turned sour.

"But she said nothing, not a single word. Just glared down at him like he was some kind of irrelevant pest and then she walked off" Helen sniffled, "and then he looked at me with those wide teary eyes and said "what did I do?" Helen finished with a brokenhearted sincerity. "What did he do? I mean what do you even say to a child in a situation like that?"

Helen moved towards one of the training room benches and sunk down onto it rather ungracefully. All of the Pent up frustration being released was starting to tire her. Aline followed her to the seat and carefully took Helen's hand once again pressing a kiss to the top of it. "Honey, I dont even know what to say that could make it better. But I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and you have to know that it's not your fault. You were a child too remember? The stuff that happens to you, Mark or any other downworlder is not your fault." 

Aline was looking Helen dead in the eye, determined to make sure every one of her words got through. "None of it is. I understand you feeling responsible for him but it is not your fault everytime he is hurt. When he suffers, it isn't a sign that you've failed him in some way. It's simply beyond your control." Helen gave her a small smile and pressed their foreheads together. "You know I really really love you" she whispered. Aline smiled and carefully brought both her hands up to cradle Helen's face. "I love you too" was Aline's response as she brought Helen in for a kiss. 

Their lips met and suddenly, Helen felt as though all was right with the world. 

Maybe it was.


End file.
